What I would say if I could!

Have you ever had those times where you have a great revelation of what you'd do or say if you were able to? I have that from time to time. I hope this post doesn't come across as me being bitter, because in reality...I'm not.

So I have this weird dream last night. Without going into detail, I'll just say it invloves my ex-wife (which one is not the issue). I happen upon her at a friends house, and everything that I have envisioned saying to her for years comes out in an all out freak fest in the bathroom. This was very indicative of our relationship so this was not a shock, but it got me to thinking.

What would really..REALLY happen. Every time I've visited this thought I get so many emotions going that I'm not real sure what I really would do.

Would I play it cool and say, "Hey how have you been...how's the kids.Blah, Blah, Blah"

or would I say, "You know I have to say that I am glad things turned out as they did because some of the most important life lessons that I have learned have come from what we went thru."

or would I say, "I'm sorry that the fate's did not allow two people with good intentions to be able to stay together because we were so different."

or would I say, "Could it be that we've come across each other again to be given a second chance at us?"

or would I say, "How could you see me go thru what I did and not stop me. Even if you only loved me for your own selfish reasons so it temporarily satisfied your needs and wants, the least you could have done is wake me up before it was too late to see what I had become."

or would I say, "I want you to know that you took the part of me that most women would love to have in their life, and broke it down to rubble so that no woman could ever see that good side of me, and in turn have cursed my ability to fully love and be loved again."

or would I say, "There are plenty of things that I have wanted to say to you over the years, but none of that matters anymore. I will take what I have learned tarry on, only hoping to find what I thought we once had. I only wish you well, and hope that you may be so lucky as to find that perfect person to bring out the best in you. Our disfunction may have only existed to show us what is functional. Every day I dream of being in a place that we could have been, and should have been, but what was meant to happen happened. The part of me that you needed when we were together is the only part that I have left."

"Peace!"