A new day

Providing the stars are aligned to permit, I will start a new day tomorrow. I know that sounds lame, and maybe it is, but I have a plan tomorrow.

My plan is to get up, SSS (Shit, Shower and Shave..I know TMI), and go buy a brand new car. Sure plenty of people go and do this every day. But it means so much more to me than what I think it may mean to others. You see, I have never, ever purchased a brand new car. I bought one about 13 years ago that had 13,000 miles on it, so it was new, and a big deal...but this is bigger. It's not the miles that are making the difference, it's more the circumstances. The first time I was 3 years into my 1st marriage and knew that I needed a good car for the growing family. Now it's different.

I am debt free. As of this hour. But I have worked 20 years to get this way. Now I am about to back into dedt, but it seems so much sweeter now than before. This time there is a meaning to the madness.

Other than being a future proud owner, I have to face up to the promise that I made to myself, and to a few others that one thing that will have to take place for me to go back to the dating scene is that I need a new car. Doesn't neccasarily have to be new to apply, but it will be. I'm not trying to be too materialisitc, but if you knew what I was driving now, you'd understand why I can't roll up in the POS that I have now to pick up a date.

However, there is a certain amount of fear that comes up now. This means that I have to stop using my lack of a decent mode of transportation as an exscuse to avoid dating again. I want to date, and I even want to eventually be in a relationship again, but just like my fears of meeting the pricey payments that I soon face, I also will be facing the fear of dating.

Like a well used car, I have been down many roads. There were times that I got better mileage than others, but the road taken was probably a road well traveled. I've timed the distance between redlights, I've considered the yeilds, I've tested the brakes, and I've felt the wear of the tread.

My new goal is to buy the car, at great cost, take the risk, test the new roads, feel the curves, and hope that in the end, I made a good purchase, I've gotten my money's worth, and hope that I am not totaled out before I've made the final payment.

Wish me luck!