15 Random things about me (Inspired by a friend muddling through)

1. Most of my anxieties as a child were brought on by my need to feel accepted.

2. I had seed warts in 11 different places on my hands, and it had nothing to do with frogs. Ironically they all went away when I quit smoking.

3. I try to avoid situations of confrontation if I know it will be negative.

4. I sold anything I could get my hands on in 6th grade to go buy ""Cracked and "Mad"" magazines...as well as candy.

5. I fell truly, madly and deeply in love in second grade. Don't believe me? Test me, I'll be honest and give you all the details!

6. What keeps me sane is sitting back and observing others so I know that there is always someone worse off than myself.

7. Even though I detest infidelity, I have been with 3 married women. Oddly it seemed justified at those times, but Kharma has kicked my butt for it...so I consider it even now.

8. Looking back I feel like I was poor and rich at the same time while growing up. My mom worked at a department store where between her store discount and the name brand clothes that literally would not have made it on the shelf because of the defects, I stayed at least halfway current in the fashion department.

9. I have more skeletons in my closet than there is closet space.

10. I have covered up more addictions than I would ever admit to anyone.

11. I have a triangled shape of hair on my lower back.

12. I still crave all of my shortcomings and downfalls.

13. My introduction to puberty was admitting to my 5th grade teacher that I was in love with her and her body because she reminded me of Linda Carter from Superwoman.

14. I can listen to any variation of music in one night and still love it all.

15. I get inspired by anyone muddling through! (Props)!

Ode to the Salesman

To be a Salesman
You must be where others haven’t thought to go
You must pitch balls no one has thought to throw

To be a Salesman
You must read between the lines
You must see what is surreal and what is sublime.

To be a Salesman
You must hear the tone of “No”
You must follow the code of the close.

To be a Salesman
You must speak “The Game”
You must remain unchanged.


But truth be told
And I’ll guarantee
This deal is Gold
You’ll hear from me
I’ll call you back
Then you will see
If we lose track
Remember me
Here’s my card
First one’s for free
Oh, I tried too hard
That’s just me
My plight in life
I hope you’ll see
I have faith
We’ll meet again
To thyself be true.
Ode to the salesman!

10-22-05

The portrayal of life

So I go to help dad with a wedding today (he's a photographer), and I take my trusty $10.00 yard sale Canon AE-1 (which actually works like a charm). So it's my job to walk around and get the casual, unposed, portraits of the usually unsuspecting people and the final product reveals a more relaxed and less stressed event than what it actually was. It works well.

Being a student of life, I study people like I would study...well...I've studied more people than I have anything else. So after a while of trying this new form of photography (new for me, because I've always been more old-school and set the shots up), I found that the ideals I have tried with still life and landscape, I could apply with people (except I'll have to shoot 3 times more than what I normally would to get what I want).

This revelation became apparent to me after following the bride and groom around for hours, and only snagging a few rogue shots. I'm sure they'll be ok, but I started watching a few of the kids play at the reception. Incredibly cute kids. The kind that actually make people want to have more. As I followed them outside the reception hall I knew that this was a good opportunity to test myself on this version of portraiture that I haven't tried very often.

What I saw was inspiring. There were 2 kids in particular (there were actually three, but the third played the part of the bratty bastard child that damn near ruined the event from the tantrums) that my lens couldn't help but follow. They were no older than 2+2 but what I watched through the view finder was like a Hallmark card in motion.

He politely opened the door for her to go outside. He quickly stepped in front of her, not to be rude, but to boldly clear the path of anything that might obstruct her way. He gently took her hand as they walked around the church. When coming across a small tree twig, he picked it up and handed it to her as if they were a dozen roses. When I asked (in that child photographer voice), "could I get a picture of the two of you?", you would have thought that they were the hottest couple on the Hollywood red carpet runway. They posed in the typical un-Anglina and Billy Bob way by standing close, but just far enough apart to tell that he knew the papparazi was there for her. Then after watching them walk away, hand in hand, talking in what I am sure is a language that exists that every human clearly grows out of, yet every child understands, they were over the moment of discovery and fan fare and they parted ways.

By this time I had taken many photos of the youth, and the last one I took I feel could be the top of my long forgotten career in photogrpahy. The little lady had walked up the grassy hill beside the church and simply parked it right there on the ground. She turned to me, propped both elbows on the knees and one wrist on the chin and did what I will forever call the "I've had enough of the adventure, so I am taking a break!" pose.

My theory about photography has always been that a picture is a picture, but a portrait is an image of life stopped in time. If I only get one portrait taken in my lifetime that can be looked at for years to come as the deepest, most personal portait of any one person...even if that is only understood by that one person, I will have lived a great life.

The one that hurt!

That's the one that hurt!
Not the last one.... or the time before.

Oh wait...it was the time before.

The honesty I asked for...you had that!
The modesty you begged for...I gave that!

I forgave your regrets.
That will be the one I regret.

I did die for you.
All things promised have come to pass.

Tell me please, how a woman can beg
And refuse the steal.

You took all I could give
You chose your tool

The silence that you walked
Took more from me than what I could give

Now I ponder who fell the hardest?
Was it the pale horse you fell from?

I bet you'll wonder down your path
If the path taken was the path well taken

That will be the one that hurts!

A post for a friend!

I know this blog-o-mine is quite boring compared to some. I'd say most, but when you have hit the "Next" button up top 20 times before you find a decent blog, I will leave it at "I have seen worse".

Anyways, while feeling a bit melancholy one night I wrote another poem. It actually had some personal connection, but not as much as it may seem. I almost wrote this as a third party. The next day while reading it again, it struck me the date that I wrote this. It was further proof that it may not have had as much to do with me as it did someone else. Someone I didn't even know.

Occasionally when I have a friend that I want to try to help, I try to come across something that I have written that may apply to what's going on with them. This one came to mind. If it's not about anyone you know...perhaps it's you!

It’s Never Easy

It wasn’t easy
Seeing you walk away
We knew it would happen
Before we even met

Something told us both
Like we knew each other
In a time long ago
When we met
And that magic was born

But we both knew
That all the elements
And all the years
Would bring us here

So there you stand
Looking down
Your eyes wide open
My eyes closed

I know your there
I know you tried
I know you cared
I know you’ll cry

Walking away once was rough
Only time will show
It was over when we first met
My last gaze upon the truth

And as music fills the room
You walk away the last time
It wasn’t over when you left
It was over when we met..

CP
09-11-05