You Decide!

OK... I know this may sound pathetic, but as much I love to talk, and have billions of things to comment on, I cannot for the life of me think of what to blog on. I am not like some of you lucky people that can come home from work and start writing creative, hillarious at times, blogs on what exciting things happened at work that day because, other than out-right sucking, my day isn't usually worth blogging about.

I go to all of the best blog sites from blogger.com, as far as I am concerned. I feel like I know many of you well. That's cool. I used to hang in chat rooms. A few were very popular and I became known to hundreds of people around the world. That was cool. For some reason, I cannot fathom my daily life being of interest, because most of my life is work and me sitting here at home alone. (And no...I'm not trying to play a sympathy card...I hate that stuff, I choose to be alone for now).

I am a 36 year old straight male who has either experienced or seen through friends, almost every emotion, drama, crisis, trauma, sliced, diced and minced-a-rama. And you'd be crazy to think I am bragging by admitting that. I'm a Libra..which at times sucks (look in the archives). I love women, yet in the past several years have grown bitter on some issues. I'm sure one or two enquiring minds may want to know, but I'm not ready to break that post out yet. So here's my problem. I feed on inspiration. There are times that no matter what I try, I need questions....Just one.

So here's what I'd like to try, from the few that I get responses from. Pick a topic! You decide what you want to hear about, because like me and my ex-gf after a long, multisession night of lovin, I'm stuck!

Vacation!

Yes...That's Shamu, and I took that ( I rarely swipe others photos ).

I took my 13 year old daughter on a vacation this past week. 8 days of typical touristy type stuff. Universal Studios, Sea World (which I will never return to, and don't ask why...I'm still ticked off), World's Largest Hard Rock Cafe (which pardon the pun...Rocked!), The RonJon home store in Cocoa Beach, and a few other things. We had a great time, but I could not help but remember the Griswold's and feeling like I was Clark and proudly pointing out the world's largest ball of twine, but my kid knows me well enough to know that I do it to get a laugh.

Other than spending an enormous amount of money on junk, I actually was able to let go of work issues for a few days. No one believed I could because I sleep work problems, and they thought I'd call twice a day. Haha, suckers! I only called 4 times all week. It was quite refreshing. The best part to me was being able to show my daughter the best time that I could. I didn't worry about money or time and my biggest concern was being able to fit everything in so we could experience all we could in the alotted time (which my boss was not happy about when I asked for it off).

All in all it was a good time had by all, but now it's back to that freakin grindstone and rebuilding my savings account. So, there ya go. That's where I've been. You'll be seeing a few more pics as I get them fixed up (all hail Photoshop).

Peace!

I'm Back!!!

For those that have emailed and posted, thanks! I've been on vacation with my daughter for over a week. Should be posting some pics later this weekend. I'll fill you in later.

Peace!

How do you know when you're ready?

I've been single for a while. Too long perhaps. But now that I have accomplished the things that I said I wanted to before dating again, I still wonder if I am ready.

With my history of past relationships / marriages, I have my reasons for doubt. I told myself that before I dated again I would:

1) Become debt free and have a new and un-familiar feeling of financial security.

2) Realize and confront past regrets and mistakes.

3) Finally learn the difference in what I want, and what I need.

4) Try to balance all of the above. (balance being the whole Libra issue that I have)


All these things have come to fruition, but...

If it happened tomorrow, would I be ready.

I constantly ask myself this question. If I was in line at the grocery store, at the right place at the right time...Could I pull off what I'd need to to spark up a conversation that could lead to anything?

I know that deep down...I do possess this because I have done this before. More times than I can count. Wanna know how I know? Here's an example...

While strolling through used car lots one day, hoping to find a better POS than what I have already, I came across a small lot that I have passed hundreds of times on my way home from work. I stopped in, glancing at a used "and pretty sweet I might add"
vehicle that I could afford without robbing the dealership itself. When I got out of my car, I was met by the typical "non-chalant", "I don't care if you buy or not" salesman who, after expressing what I was looking for, directed me inside the abode that was "the office". As soon as I walked in, I completly lost track of what could have been his only sale for that day, and was smitten. Smitten I say! Smitten with a lovely woman behind the desk.

As he rambled on and on about money and stuff (like I cared), I could not keep my eyes off of this girl. I suppose I nodded, said "ya...I'll get back to you". I kept glancing, and finally caught the beautiful eyes of this woman as she looked up from that shy and coy stance that women do. Smitten I say!

The incredible urge I had to buy the car went away when he told me that she was the taker of money and that (jokingly said) "She would be the one to call you if the payment was late". However I pulled out of my sleeve one of the classic cheesy lines I have ever given (yet made a huge impression), "Anything to get her to call me"!

Oh Yah. My foot was in the door. She blushed, and I think at that point I made an excuse to "buy another day". But what happened next reminded me of my early days of wooing. I did something few people would have done unless they were being directed on Cheesywood's next biggest chick-flick. I went straight home (in my POS car), and called the number on the business card (which I really only got so I could get the number of the place to call her if I wanted to),and said...

(as the second girl answered the phone that I had no interest in)

Me: Yes, I stopped by a little bit ago and was looking around at a few cars and I...um...I was wondering if I might speak to... um...are you the girl that was on the left desk or the right desk?

Her: I was the girl on the left!

Me: Um.....could I speak to the girl that collects the money?

Her: (laughing) Ya...she's right here.

Me: Thank you..

It Girl: Hello?

Me: Hi!

It Girl: hello

Me: Um..look, I know this may sound really weird, but I was just in to look at a few cars, and as I came in the office, I couldn't help but notice that you had the most incredible smile that I have ever seen. (which was true..no Line..really)

It Girl: Oh my God!...Um...thank you...I do believe that's the first compliment I've heard in a long time"

Me: You deserve it! Look please don't think I'm nuts, and this may sound crazy, but I have to ask...are you seeing anyone?"

It Girl: Well, sort of...we've been back and forth for a few months, and I don't really know where we're at right now...but yah!.

Me: Sorry to hear that. Well, I couldn't help but call...and I've never done this before, but, would it bother you if I were to call you back sometime?

It Girl: No, In fact, call me back in a few months. Maybe something would have changed by then.

Me: I just may do that!

It Girl: I have to tell you...you've made my day!

Me: Good! Thank you "it girl", It's been a pleasure.

It Girl: It has!...Bye!

Me: Bye!



And that was it!

If I can get that far...or less...am I ready?

Second First Grade True Love!!!

OK...you asked for it.......ok.maybe you didn't, but here goes either way. ( These are excerpts from what will one day be a best selling novel in some alternate universe ).

My First Love

Don’t think we’ve fast-forwarded that much my friend. Now we’re at the pre-first day of the second 1st grade. I can sense the doubt from you as you compare the chapter’s title to the time-frame. But…here goes.

So mom and I arrived at the school that day to sign me up for the second (but most memorable) year of 1st grade. A fresh start, a new teacher, and a sore backside for failing the 1st, 1st grade. This was my year. As we stood in line to approach the large desk of the large woman that was to be my teacher, I saw before me a vision. She was four sets of parents/kids ahead of me. All I could see was her long brown hair, and expensive blue jeans. And somehow, I knew within that moment that destiny had called me by name and said, "This is your first love!"

My first reaction to this angelic event was to turn to my mother with my big blue, but turning green, eyes and say "Mom. That girl is going to be my girlfriend.". I’m sure she looked at me with wide, but curious eyes in that moment, wondering if her 6 year old son had already lost his mind, but with the confidence level I had asserted…how could a mother doubt that sincerity?
But was I wrong? Of course not. That’s not possible in an angelic intervention. I knew she was as good as mine. And behold, within a few weeks, we were lovers. Well… not in the modern scenario, but lovers nonetheless. Her name was "Vanessa". It even sounded angelic at the time.

After what seemed to be an eternity of "Vanessa" and I dating, came along a short little dude (even in 2nd, 1st grade terms) named Shane. My first arch-enemy. When I found out Shane was also hot for "Vanessa"….the stakes were now raised. I behaved my best, and pulled all the tricks from my tiny sleeve. Romancing her with hand-made gifts and illiterate letters written from the BIG, FAT pencils, later known to me as #3 pencils. As fate would have it, she proclaimed in a letter to us that seemed like our own personal Declaration of Independence, that she was in love with both of us and torn between the "Other Guy!", and myself. What’s this? She likes both of us? But how could this be? I saw her long brown hair and expensive blue jeans first. Mine I say!

All competitions in life are faced with struggles. This was proclaimed later that year when she wrote "The Letter!". Ah yes. The dear Clay / dear Shane letter. Who could forget. Apparently her evil parents had made the evil decision to take their evil selves and move to another evil house that would move the Angelic daughter to another evil school. What!. What’s this. A letter? Proclaiming that you can no longer love "both of us"…! You’ve got to move where? Across town you say!. Hm…This will not do! But what of the love from the two lovers? Broken!. The distance of what was probably only about 15 miles or so had caused a cataclysim of events that change my view of love. Devastation, heart-wrenching despair and agony on me was this traumatic event. So much so, that I discovered the greiving man’s best friend. Music.

Music has always been and will always be a huge part of my life but, never before has this been more realistic than in the 2nd, 1st grade. What the Billboard top charts were at the time I will not reveal for the safety of myself, and my family, but let’s just say that my old trusty 45’s pulled me through the hardest times of my life.

So what of "Vanessa and the saga of love-triumphant? We shall meet again…Indeed, we shall meet again!

(Thus ends that there chapter thingy)!